Mi Vida Loca!

Or should that be Mi Vida Loco? I think Loca is right, since I'm a girl and the "a" is feminine. Anyway, life has been crazy.. as per usual! Going back to school (FINALLY)  was exciting and good, but hectic! I went back to school right after Thanksgiving Break. I glowed for entirely TOO long! Even once I went back home I sitll wasn't able to hold my kids for more than 15 minutes at a time for a couple days. I didn't sleep with them for another few days. It was rough, but even as I write this, just a month later, it seems a distant memory. A lot of this whole cancer ordeal is fading actually. I am glad to report that I have healed well. My scar is gradually healing and I often forget about it... until I look in the mirror!

Thankfully I am a teacher and we get two weeks off for our Winter Break. Brooke had her tonsils and adenoids out as well as had her sinuses flushed the Thursday before break. Needless to say, she has been recovering the past couple of weeks. She did really well, but it was a big surgery. She's almost back to normal! Benjamin got very sick the day of Brooke's surgery. He had to be picked up eary b/c of a fever. Corey took him to the doctor the next day and he has RSV, a bad sinus infection, and a nose infection! They sent him for chest x-rays, but luckily they didn't show pneumonia. He received a breathing treatment in office and then was sent home with a nebulizer and a prescription for treatments every 3-4 hours! He also had to take an oral steroid, had a prescription nose cream, and a high dose of antibiotics. Poor thing, but it all helped him tremendously! He is just getting over another high fever (and one night of throwing up?!). What is with this year and all of the illness in this family?!?! I am SO ready for a new year, and a new beginning! 2011 has to be better! :)

Brooke before surgery.

This is just after we were able to see her in recovery. She loved this popsicle!

Brooke did GREAT! With her age being under three, they said that there was a 50/50 chance she would have to stay overnight, depending on her oxygen levels and how she tolerated fluids. We left our house at 10am and were home by 3:30pm! She got to ride a wagon out to the parking garage! So fun!

Here is Baby Benjamin during one of his treatments.

This Santa is the dad of one of our friends. This is the ONLY Santa that Brooke didn't completely freak out around! I'm so glad we got a picture of both of them with Santa!

This was the BIG gift from Santa for both kids. Brooke asked her Elf on the Shelf, "Marker", for a play kitchen every day! Needless to say, this is a HUGE hit! It better be... it took us nearly FOUR hours to assemble! The look on Brooke's face when she found it was SO worth it though!

Santa was GOOOOD to us this year! Santa NEVER pays full retail price for anything, though! ;) The play kitchen was hidden behind gifts in the back right corner!

Ahh!! SO cute!!

My gorgeous blondie!

My precious boy!

Such a silly girl!

You know it was a good day when it ends like this!

Still glowing...

So I went back to the Nuclear Medicine department last Friday to have my levels checked again. Brook got out the geiger counter and I was "good" at 3 feet, but still too "hot" w/in about 12-15". It was crazy how quickly the levels jumped up as he moved in closer with the geiger probe.

I had him test himself and the needle hovered right at the bottom, close to zero, as it should. When he put it up to me, it flew up to the far right and made a sound. A sad sound. This meant it was back to my parents for another couple of days. This was on day 10, and the paperwork said 12 days, but everyone had said this was the conservative end of things- most people don't have to wait that long. "Lucky me", I was going to have to! He and another Nuke Med person said that I was ok to be about a foot away from adults, but still couldn't be near pregnant women and young children. I said I'd be back Monday morning for some good news.. hopefully!

On to Monday. Day 13. I was hoping and praying, along with a lot of my family and friends that I would be cleared today. I got there a little before 8:30 when everyone would be there. I needed to figure out what I was going to do because Brooke had a follow-up appointment with the ENT and Ben had his 9mo. check up. I REALLY needed to get Brooke in to the ENT since she was going to have to be x-rayed again and we were going to see if we needed to go ahead with surgery. A nice lady helped me and made it sound like they were expecting me. Pretty sad when they recognize you at the hospital! LOL. Another lady came out and used the geiger counter on me. My levels were a little less than they were on Friday, but still not low "enough" to get the ok for full contact. She did say that I could hold my kids and be around them, but couldn't hold them for longer than 15 or 20 minutes at a time and I couldn't sleep with them or my husband for another few days. *sigh*. For a co-sleeping family, this was a bummer! But, I, of course, don't want to put anyone at risk, so I will wait! I did decide to go home though. I had already packed up all of my stuff and was definitely READY to go home! Corey was at home waiting for me. He was waiting for me to get there so he could go to work. My friend Erin had agreed to meet me and go with me to the ENT so she could help hold the kids. Thank GOD for her!! My mother-in-law and her husband said they would come down to help out too, thank goodness! Corey has off on Wednesday, so this all has worked out pretty well. I have been able to hold the kids for a little while, here and there. It is sad not being able to hold Ben and put him to sleep, but there will be plenty of time for that later.

Erin went with me to the ENT appointment and it was a good thing she did! We were there for a while since the doctor saw both kids. Ben is getting over an ear infection and has fluid in his other ear. The doctor will follow up with him in December, but it looks like he is following in the footsteps of his sister with her ears (not a good thing!). Brooke's adenoids were even larger than before, one of her sinuses was clearer, and her tonsils were still huge. So.. surgery is scheduled for mid-December. She will be having her adenoids removed, her tonsils removed, her sinuses flushed out (since the strong antibiotics didn't even clear up her infection), and her tubes removed. Depending on how her ears look behind the tubes, he may or may not put new tubes back in. Jeepers!! It won't be a fun day and won't be a fun recovery, but she is one TOUGH Cookie and I am sure she will do just fine. She has also been having episodes of apnea from all of this. She snores and seems to have constant allergies, runny nose alternating with congestion. This should all improve greatly after her surgery!

Ben has HORRIBLE eczema- even worse than Brooke's. We now have to use Locoid, a prescription steroid cream, on him, since nothing else has worked. Hopefully this will help get it under control. He also has thrush in his mouth and an awful yeast diaper rash, from the super strong antibiotics he has been on for his ear infections. :(  Here's hoping that some Genetian Violet and Nystatin can help get that cleared up! He is 9 months old now and weighs 20lb and is 29 1/4" long. His growth has slowed down considerably! In fact, he was nearly 21lbs 13oz at one of his sick visits not long ago and is now down to just 20lbs! He was 19 1/2lbs at his 6mo. visit! His weight is just under 50th percentile and his height is about 75th.

And.. in other news.. I have completed my civic duty as the Spelling Fairy. I am happy to report that although this took me three different trips to complete my objective, it is done!! All letters are in place and have remained on the wall since I first started "fixing" the signs! I wonder how long they will be there! Some are glue-stick'ed on and some are taped. I also wonder if there's cameras on those signs and, if so, what the people behind them thought when they saw me digging paper and a glue stick or tape dispenser out of my purse and taping the letters on the wall! hahaha!! Here's the before and after pictures. Please to enjoy!

Before & After

(added the 'S' in Ultrasound)

Before, during (forgot the 'I' in Medicine)...

and AFTER!! All done! :)

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Cancer sucks!

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up! But seriously, my lack of posting is due to the chaos that has been surrounding my life and at the center of it is cancer. This has been one HECK of a roller coaster! I'm not a fan of roller coasters, emotional ones included! When I last wrote I told you of having to go to an Oncologist. Well, I went and she pretty much wondered why we were there. She said we should have gone to a surgeon and referred us to one. She also said that the pathology from the needle biopsy wasn't 100% saying that it was cancer and she believed that it probably was NOT, it could be, but she really doubted it. I was stunned. I felt stupid. No what? My parents and husband were excited at the "it's not cancer" prospect, but I wasn't convinced. I just had a feeling. So, to surgeon #1 we go. He was a head and neck surgeon and a good guy. I didn't like that he inserted a camera UP my  nose to look down into my throat, but bygones. He also said that it *may* not be cancer, but according to the pathology from the biopsy, it looked like it probably was... Again, huh? Although we all felt like this guy knew what he was doing, I wanted a second opinion from another surgeon. Enter surgeon #2. This one came highly recommended. He was a general surgeon and did a LOT of thyroids among other things, heart surgery included. My father (and mother and husband) went with me to the appointment. My dad is a retired heart surgeon and knew his father (who was a famous heart surgeon) so they really hit it off. I knew #2 was the one. He also felt very confident that we were just dealing with a multi-nodule goiter (even though there was only two masses- one on the right and one on the left). Again, I didn't celebrate, I held on to my gut feeling. Surgery was scheduled for two weeks. I went on about my life as a mother, teacher, and wife and held my head high. People remarked frequently that I was handling things so well. Indeed I was because, heck it may not even BE cancer!

Fast forward to THE day. Surgery. My mother in law came down to take care of the kids (praise God for her!). My husband and I had to be at the hospital at 5:15am. Holy moley! Surgery was scheduled for 7:15. We went in to the Patient Assessment place at the hospital, the same place I was for my Pre-op appointment the day before. I got in my gown, talked with the nurse, answered questions that I had already been asked and would be asked yet again later on. I had to pump as well since it was going to be several hours before I would be able to. Then they put me in a bed and rolled me to the elevator and up to the "holding room". This was so weird. It was like a big huge room where they wheeled everyone to get them prepped before surgery. The nurse, nurse anesthetists, anesthesiologist, and the surgeon all came there to talk to you. They put in your IV there as well as the funky leg things that inflate and deflate to keep your circulation going and prevent clotting in your legs. I got to watch the young girl across from me cry, and she got to watch me cry too. As the time went by, more and more people were wheeled in there, getting prepped for the first surgeries of the day. The time finally came when my husband had to go to the waiting room and I had to be wheeled away. Everyone was so good and so reassuring and tried to calm me down and quell my fears (of throwing up after I woke up, of all things!). I remember entering the operating room and the oxygen mask. I also remember the smell of the plastic mask and then the smell of something else.. and viola! I woke up in recovery. It was painful. It sucked. I was not happy. In fact, I believe my first thought was how angry I was at every person who had been through this that had told me how "easy" it was!! EASY?! Are you kidding me?!?! I felt like I had just had a c-section on my neck. I sort of had, but I didn't have a baby out of the deal! I've had two c-sections and I believe I'd rather have another one than have this surgery. My mom and husband were excited- they said that the surgeon had told them that they only found .5cm of cancer in the right tumor that they did a frozen section of in the OR! He didn't think I'd have to do the radiation pill post operatively and that he should be able to manage my meds w/out the need of seeing an endocrinologist. When he came to visit me he said the same thing, but added that we would, of course, have to wait for the final pathology which should come in 48 hours.

Clear liquid diet = yuck. I pretty much didn't eat for two days. For one, it hurt like hell, and for two salt water ("broth) wasn't at all appealing. I had to stay an extra day because my calcium levels were too low and they needed them to increase before discharging me. When I was finally discharged, my path results still weren't back. He told me we would go over them in the office at my post op appointment in 10 days. My parents, being the doctors they are, wanted to see the path report so the office faxed them to my dad. I didn't realize he had them until he sat me down on Saturday evening. It turns out that the right side wasn't just .5cm of cancer, it was actually 1.7cm and the left side wasn't just a goiter, but 2.5cm of cancer! HEARTBREAKING. I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to think. My mind was racing. All of this back and forth business and here we were again, back at square one- you have cancer. All along that gut feeling I had was justified. I was right, it WAS cancer. So here we are. I'm at home recovering and trying to figure things out. I have good days and bad days, happy moments and sad ones. Since I haven't had my post op appointment with my surgeon I don't know the plan for sure from here, but it will involve an endocrinologist and likely scans and the RAI (radioactive) pill. Ugh.

I will get through this. I will be fine. I will be stronger for it, but I can't help but wonder why and question why this is happening to me. I just turned 33 two days ago; I'm still "young". I'm a fighter dang it! I will hold me head up high and keep on trucking. As bad as this seems, at least I am here, the cancer was removed when the thyroid was taken out, and at least we found this and acted quickly!

** I have to tell you who my neighbors were for my hospital stay. To my right was a prison inmate. She was guarded 24/7 by a sheriff. I felt safe.. sort of. To my left was someone with MRSA. Lovely. She had issues. Like something was NOT right with her. I kept my air on (it was really loud) so I didn't have to listen to her hacking in her room. Needless to say my nurses, nursing assistants, dietary, and housekeeping people liked me. I made a lot of friends during my stay!! They were great!

This is me before they put me on the bed.. and before the tears began!

My gory neck. Frankenstein much?

This was breakfast on day 2. That dark liquid is BEEF broth. BREAKFAST people!! All I ate from this tray was the apple juice and half of the popsicle.

My digs. Cozy....

My view of downtown Fort Worth.

The cot that my dear husband slept on each night. It was so awesome that he stayed with me.

I had to pump and dump the first 24 hours. After that I was able to save the milk, but I ran out of lids! So.... I asked for baggies and rubber bands from the nurse. All they had were biohazard specimen bags!

Breakfast day 3. They had me on a HIGH calcium diet once they moved me to "full liquids" after the clear liquid diet. I see a theme on this tray! Good thing I'm not lactose intolerant (but I don't like milk!).

Yucky picture of the patient (I've lost almost 10lbs since then!).

My "ride" out of the hospital! What is this thing and what happened to wheel chairs? It was actually pretty cool though b/c it held all of your bags and belongings!

Gorgeous flowers from my little brother and sister in law!

That's right. Survivor. You can't beat me.